Imagine trudging through three feet deep water, where every step you take is heavier than the next. Now imagine feeling that way everyday, right from the time you wake up till you go to sleep at night.
This is what emotional exhaustion can feel like. Emotional exhaustion, or emotional depletion, refers to a constant state of being mentally worn out and emotionally drained. It is not a condition that afflicts a person suddenly. It is usually a result of experiencing adversities for a prolonged period of time.Â
One of the prime examples of such long, draining situations is being a part of an unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy relationships can take a massive toll on your mental health, bringing about feelings of isolation and helplessness.Â
Effects of Unhealthy Relationships
You can experience the unhealthy expression of emotions in different forms when involved in an emotionally draining relationship. In fact, a study found a link between relationship conflict and emotional exhaustion, indicating that experiencing frequent conflict with a partner can directly lead to feeling emotionally depleted. You end up believing that no one understands you, that you are not worthy of better treatment or even that you deserve to suffer.Â
Loneliness and Isolation
The feelings of loneliness that arise from being in a toxic relationship can be detrimental to a person. A global survey revealed that 59% of adults between the ages of 18 to 24 were lonely, and felt negative effects of loneliness. With over 22% of people over 65 feeling lonely as well, it is evident that such massive widespread prevalence of loneliness can leave an impact that can affect individuals for years to come.
The emotional effort that is expended from being in an unhealthy relationship can leave you feeling drained. Moreover, the lack of emotional intimacy and closeness in the relationship can cultivate feelings of isolation. You stop relating to others and start feeling like you need to deal with all your problems alone. The chronic loneliness leads to the gradual depletion of emotions, which results in a continuous decline in mental health.
Recognising Signs of Emotional Depletion
Not every relationship involving arguments leads to emotional exhaustion. Recognising the signs of emotional depletion is the first step towards restoring your mental peace. In addition to feelings of loneliness and isolation, here are some signs to look out for when assessing yourself for it:
Lack of Energy: Feeling exhausted after even the most minor of arguments or ordinary communication in the relationship is a major indicator of emotional depletion. The arguments may be minor; however, its effects sometimes linger long after the argument has been resolved.
Self-Doubt and Insecurity: If you are suffering from high levels of self-criticism, fear or low self-esteem within your relationship, you may be stuck in damaging patterns that lead to emotional depletion.
Physical Symptoms: These include symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and changes in appetite and sleep patterns. These symptoms often indicate unresolved emotional problems.
Impact on Daily Life: Because of the emotional toll and stress that comes with a toxic relationship, you may notice a general deterioration of the quality of your life and work performance, and derive less pleasure from activities you once enjoyed.
The Path to Recovery
Once you realise you’re emotionally exhausted, it’s time to start taking steps to safeguard your mental health.Â
Self-Care and Boundaries
Self-care should be a priority. Dedicate some time out of your day to restore your emotional energy. Recognise the signs that indicate an interaction or behaviour is stressful to you and be willing to disengage or get help when necessary.
Seeking Support
Talk to friends, family or a therapist who will be able to provide support, understanding and a fresh point of view. Counselling gives you a platform to express feelings, get an understanding of personal dynamics, and learn ways to manage it.
Building Emotional Resilience
Develop coping mechanisms through the use of mindfulness, hobbies that promote relaxation, and a support system of positive influences. Emotional strength enables you to cope with stress and adversity in a better way.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Understand that recovering from emotional exhaustion in an unhealthy relationship is not a one-day affair. Be realistic with what you can achieve and know that it is acceptable to put yourself first sometimes.
The Hard Decision
Sometimes, in order to preserve your mental health, a difficult decision has to be made. In some cases, the right choice, for the sake of both partners, is to break off the relationship and spend some time working on your individual selves. This is not an easy decision to make but, sometimes, it is the right thing to do. Take time to analyse all aspects of the relationship before coming to this decision, but if you come to the conclusion that this is the right choice, following it through may help you in the long run.
Addressing emotional depletion is an act of self preservation. Remember, you deserve a fulfilling relationship. Most of all, you deserve to be happy.
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