The Social Media ‘Glow-Up’ Myth: Chasing Perfection, Not Progress

The Social Media ‘Glow-Up’ Myth: Chasing Perfection, Not Progress

We’ve all seen it—the jaw-dropping transformation stories that flood social media. From drastic physical makeovers to life-altering self-improvement journeys, the so-called "glow-up" has become a popular symbol of success and progress. But here's the catch: is the glow-up we're admiring truly what it's cracked up to be?

What’s the Glow-Up Really About?

A glow-up is often framed as this sudden, flawless transformation, but the reality is far less glamorous. It's easy to get swept up in the idea of completely changing ourselves in the name of progress. But when we look closely, we see that most of these transformations aren't as instantaneous as they appear. They are a series of small, consistent changes that take time, energy, and, most importantly, patience.

Psychological research suggests that constantly measuring ourselves against these perfect images can be detrimental to our mental health. The problem with "glow-up" culture is that it presents an unrealistic, one-dimensional picture of success. We forget that behind every transformation is a unique, personal journey, often hidden from view. This can lead to the dangerous myth that there’s only one right way to grow.

The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism

Chasing the perfect glow-up can also spark feelings of inadequacy. Perfectionism, as studied by psychologists like Dr. Thomas Curran, can create a vicious cycle of anxiety, self-criticism, and burnout. When we set unrealistic standards for ourselves, we often feel like we’re never enough, no matter how hard we try.

Rather than inspiring us to reach for our best selves, this pressure can leave us feeling defeated, especially when the transformation doesn’t match the "before-and-after" versions we’ve seen online. The result? The glow-up we’re chasing ends up looking more like a stressful race with no finish line in sight.

Reframing the Glow-Up: It’s About Small Wins

Instead of striving for perfection, we should shift our focus to progress. Think about it: growth isn’t linear. Sometimes, it’s not about fitting into a particular image but about taking steps that feel right for you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) supports this by suggesting that small, manageable changes in our behaviour and thoughts are far more sustainable than big leaps toward perfection.

Take something simple like committing to daily walks or setting aside time for self-care. These little habits are the real “glow-up” moments—about investing in your well-being without the pressure of perfection. Over time, they help shape a healthier, more resilient you.

The Power of Self-Compassion

One of the most important components of real growth is self-compassion. We’re often our own harshest critics, especially when comparing ourselves to idealised versions of others. But embracing self-compassion, as Dr. Kristin Neff advocates, allows us to show up for ourselves with kindness rather than judgment.

This practice can reduce stress and anxiety and lead to healthier coping mechanisms when faced with setbacks. Instead of beating ourselves up over not reaching the “perfect” glow-up, self-compassion helps us appreciate where we are and where we’ve come from. 

Embrace Your Unique Journey

Real transformation happens when you focus on being the best version of yourself, not someone else. Your glow-up isn’t defined by social media standards or unrealistic ideals. It’s about aligning with your personal goals, nurturing your mental health, and choosing progress over perfection.

So next time you’re tempted to compare your journey to others, remember: the most genuine glow-up is the one that feels authentic to you. It’s not about achieving perfection—it’s about making steady, positive changes that leave you feeling more confident and fulfilled in your own skin.